I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
