he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
