Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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