we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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