Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
