Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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