it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize