just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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