Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize