why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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