you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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