hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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