they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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