I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
