Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
