your room smells of hookers.
And success
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
