oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
