Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
