you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Shame - the story of my life.
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