Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
