two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
