Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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