I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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