I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
