My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize