Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
