The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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