margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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