what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
