no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
