I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
