An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
