Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
