I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
