I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
how drunk are you?
Several
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
