i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
