Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
