I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize