Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
