Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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