I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
