my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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