she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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