I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
