ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
only if we run a train.
done.
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you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
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My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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