Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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