I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
