I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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