Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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