Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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