Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
