just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
