17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
