Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
