we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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