your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
