In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
