I think my vagina is haunted
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
