it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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