I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
