it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize