Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
