Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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