oh god the rape fog is back!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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