Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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