I'm going to jail i love you
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
