I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
