i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
