i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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