He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
