I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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