"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
