During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
