My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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