nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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