im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
