She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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