omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dicks are not precious.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
