Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just gargled with NyQuil
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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