And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
